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When someone else is panicking, they often try to make it your panic too. A subject line screams "urgent", a colleague demands an instant answer, a family member spirals, and suddenly your body is in motion before your mind has caught up. Not My Emergency is a practical guide to staying steady in chaotic moments - so you can be helpful without being hijacked.
Kaia Solander gives you a clear, usable framework for urgency triage: how to tell what is truly time-critical, what is simply uncomfortable, and what is someone else’s poor planning landing in your lap. You will learn stress response regulation you can use on the spot, plus calm communication that de-escalates without sounding cold or superior. Just as importantly, you will practise boundary setting skills that hold up under pressure, including what to say when people push back, guilt-trip, or escalate.
This book is for the reliable ones: managers and team members, carers and partners, friends who get the midnight messages, and anyone dealing with demanding people while trying to keep their own life on track. You will come away with stronger emotional self control, a way of helping without rescuing, and practical tools for conflict de escalation that protect both relationships and results. And when the moment finally passes, you will have a plan for recovery after crisis so the next request does not start from exhaustion.

Not My Emergency

SKU: 9789309335860
$25.99 Regular Price
$20.45Sale Price
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  • Kaia Solander writes about calm, boundaries, and clear communication for people who are tired of living at other people’s volume. Her work is grounded in the everyday reality of modern responsibility: the colleague who always gets tagged, the friend who becomes the helpline, the family member who keeps things running. She is especially interested in the moment where good intentions turn into over-functioning, and where being "helpful" quietly becomes being cornered. Kaia’s approach is practical and humane. She assumes readers are capable, caring, and busy, and she focuses on tools that work in real time: how to slow a conversation without shutting it down, how to name what is urgent without mocking what someone feels, and how to step back without disappearing. She believes calm is not a personality type but a learnable practice built from small decisions repeated under pressure. A quiet thread running through her thinking is the complicated legacy of the old British phrase "Keep Calm": not as a demand to suppress emotion, but as a reminder that steadiness can be a form of care. Kaia’s mission is to help readers build steadiness that serves both truth and kindness, so they can respond to real emergencies - and stop donating their nervous system to the rest.

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