If you are known as the reliable one, the easy one, the one who never makes a fuss, you may also be the one quietly carrying everyone else’s comfort. Less People-Pleasing is a practical guide to staying warm and generous without giving away your time, your energy, or your sense of self. It treats people-pleasing for what it often is: an approval strategy that creates short-term peace and long-term resentment. Kaia Solander shows you how to spot approval seeking patterns in real time, identify what you actually need, and use assertive communication scripts that are clear without being harsh. You will learn boundary setting skills you can apply at home, at work, and in close relationships, including how to say no without over-explaining, and what to do when someone asks again. Just as importantly, the book prepares you for the part no one warns you about: the emotional aftershock. You will learn how to handle guilt after boundaries, practise handling pushback, and follow through calmly so your limits become believable. This book is for people who want healthy relationship limits but fear being seen as selfish, difficult, or unkind. It is also for anyone who has tried "just be more confident" advice and found it collapses the moment a loved one is disappointed. The goal is not to turn you into a hard-edged person; it is to rebuild self respect habits so kindness is a choice, not a compulsion. You can be considerate and still be clear. You can care and still have a life that fits you.
Less People-Pleasing
SKU: 9789377789312
$33.99 Regular Price
$24.52Sale Price
- Kaia Solander writes for people who want to stay kind without disappearing. Her work focuses on the everyday moments where a life is quietly shaped: the pause before answering a request, the text you feel you must reply to immediately, the apology you offer for having a need. She is drawn to the practical side of change - the words you can actually say, the small decisions you can actually repeat - because clarity is most useful when emotions are loud. Her perspective is grounded in lived experience of learning, unlearning, and relearning what "being good" can mean. Like many people, she has seen how families and communities can reward the peacemaker while overlooking the cost, and how resentment can be mistaken for personality rather than information. She writes with a preference for plain language, compassion without collapse, and boundaries that protect relationships rather than punish them. A subtle thread running through Kaia’s approach is an interest in the social history of politeness: how, across eras, especially in tight-knit towns and in the aftermath of upheaval, keeping the peace could be a form of survival. She honours that history while asking a modern question: what if your nervous system is still living by rules you no longer need? Her aim is to help readers build relationships that can hold honesty, limits, and warmth at the same time.
